Do It Anyway: Magic When You Don’t Feel Like It.
I was talking with a student about offerings and he mentioned that he hadn’t made them in a few days because he was not feeling well and was not “in a place” where he could commune with the spirits. “I don’t think I would get anything out of it right now. I would just be saying the words and doing a dead ritual”.
“Yeah”, I said “I get that way about feeding my cat too. I don’t feel like playing or petting and if I did it I would just be pouring food and water then walking away. I still do it though.”
Here is the key thing: If you accept the reality of spirits, energies, and other invisible forces beyond just whatever is going on in your own head, MAGIC IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.
Last week there was a day that I really did not want to be doing any magic. I was not feelin it. But I have a few businesses that pay me to do a Dzambhala ritual and burn 24 hours of incense for them twice a month, so I did the Puja, chanted the Mantras, and waved the incense. The spirits in Dzambhala’s retinue did not really care about how I was feeling about it. I enjoy seeing the local beings gather at the offerings I burn and pour every day, and I enjoy whatever communication I can establish, and I rather think the regular spirits enjoy it too. But, if that isn’t happening I still make the offering. If I am sick, I just plop the stuff outside with a few quick words and go back to bed.
I also enjoy cooking breakfast for my kids, but if I am not feeling it, I still feed them.
To quote They Might Be Giants “Memo to myself: Do the dumb things I gotta do. Touch the Puppethead.”
John Beckett wrote about something similar last week in his post “Paganism in the Dry Season“. He correctly observed “Sometimes you just have to be the Druid or be the Witch or be the Heathen or be whatever it is you are. Put on your robes, fire up your cauldron, and start brewing the Awen. Light the incense and pour the offerings. Draw sigils, light candles, and cast spells. Whatever it is you do, just do it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it’s getting you anywhere, just do it.”
But what about meditation, energy work, chanting and stuff like that? Surely that is stuff that is mostly about us so we should be in a “good place” when we do it, right? I mean if we can’t feel it, whats the point?
Yup, that stuff too. Even if you don’t want to. The thread of practice is kept even if you chant the mantras in utter distraction – just do it so it has some benefit. The energies of the body are still at work even if you aren’t particularly tapped into the etheric level today – do your regular practice. You still have a mind that is processing the world for you – get on the cushion and meditate, even if at the end of it you don’t have any insights or clarity or calm. Just do it by rote, even if it feels like going through the motions.
Sometimes, you will finish and just continue feeling “meh”, but sometimes the action itself creates the internal benefit. The practice seduces you and gets you in the mood. It’s like hitting the gym when you are tired and unmotivated: 90% of the time it is just what you needed to wake the fuck up and get moving. Since it is the mind causing you to feel “not into it”, meditation can dispel it sometimes like a distracting thought. The inner heat or QiGung gets the energies moving and you burn off the exact thing that was holding you back. The chanting connects you to the diety and suddenly you are lifted up. Instead of being moved to do a practice, let your practice move you.
But even if it doesn’t, do it anyway. MAGIC IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.