Advice about Advice
It is new years day and you have probably been inundated with lists of advice for the new year. I posted my own advice just a few days ago, but I have one more bit of advice – it relates to how you process advice generally. With a very few exceptions there is no good advice or bad advice in an article. All advice depends upon the person, the situation, and the duration it is applied.
As an entrepreneur I am always encountering hustle porn: “Sleep When You’re Dead!” “Crush It!” “Success is rented, and the rent is due EVERY DAY!” “Hustle until you no longer have to introduce yourself!” “Grind now, Shine Later” and my favorite “Work how others Won’t, so you can live how other Can’t!” .
At the moment there is a huge backlash against this type of advice as unhealthy and unattainable, but I will let you in on a secret: I love it.
Waking up and seeing a message like this on my desktop or newsfeed has been good for me. It has occasionally gotten me off my ass rather than wasting time feeling busy, but actually just being distracted by one thing after another. It motivates me to do something more meaningful than binge watch season one of Arrow – again. It has been good for me.
On the other hand there is a lot of advice right now about not being hard on one’s self. Making time for self-care. Not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. I love this advice as well. It has helped me put down the phone and be present with my family when its family time, and not let the business of magic get in the way of actually doing magic. It has been good for me.
When you hear any kind of advice, it can do you good or ill: the fault doesn’t usually lie with the advice – it lies with the person who takes it. It lies with anyone who assumes it applies to their life, always applies no matter what, assumes it is a permeant lifestyle directive rather than a challenge for the moment, and assumes there is something wrong with them if the advice doesn’t pan out. The best advice runs COUNTER to what you have been doing. If you wake up most days and put in significant time working smartly at your project, then more advice telling you to “crush it” is not helpful – you are at that point feeding a beast that can consume your life. The same is true the other way around though. If you are a person who has not lived up to their potential (yes, I know I sound like a high school guidance counselor) then reading stuff on how you need more self care, need to take it easy on yourself, can also be creating a beast. The first is an aggressive douche-monster, and the second is a slack-ass lump, but they are both beasts.
Not all advice is forever either. “Say Yes to EVERYTHING!” is great advice for those just starting out. It is horrible advice for those who have already established themselves. 15 Years ago I said yes to everything, at this stage in my career I am taking Derek Severs motto if it’s not “Hell Yes” it’s “No”.
Eight years ago I worked 8 hours a day in a day-job, 4-6 hours a day on Strategic Sorcery, and the rest of my time caring for my newborn twins and wife who was in cancer treatment. I slept perhaps 3-4 hours a night. It got me to where I am now, so I sometimes repeat the adage that got me through that period: “work how others won’t so you can live how other’s can’t”. I don’t exist like that now though, and it’s not a sustainable lifestyle. It’s not meant to be a sustainable lifestyle, it is meant to get past a point then do adapt to the new situation that your toil has brought. Tim Ferris often gets accused of pushing hustle porn, but the title of his first book was “Four Hour Work Week”, and the whole book is about avoiding business and freeing up time.
Speaking of Mr. Ferris, I had one friend actually throw his book out because of the chapter on getting your company to let you work from home. Why did this upset my friend? Because their particular job is impossible to do from home. “He assumes we ALL work jobs that can be done from home! Screw Him!”. Um, No. He assumes some people do and assumed that readers who couldn’t would know that advice was not for them.
So as you filter through endless posts about advice for crushing your new year, or taking it easy, or anything in between: just keep in mind these three things:
1. The advice that is good for many, might not be good for you. That doesn’t make it bad advice.
2. Advice is situational: what is helpful in 2019 could be detrimental in 2020.
3. It is up to you to discern what advice to take and when: stop measuring yourself against clickbait that is not even aimed at you. Stop measuring yourself against other peoples social media profiles. Be realistic about your capacity. In short: KNOW THYSELF.