Make Sure It Will Sell

In the last post I spoke about how to differentiate yourself in a tough market through story based marketing. The thing about stories though is that you need to make sure someone wants to hear it.

Last weekend I got caught up with some friends watching a mini-marathon of Bar Rescue, including an episode about a bar in Silver Springs MD called Piratz Tavern. Now, given the topic of my last post, you might think that I would think a Pirate Bar is a great idea -and it would be in a place with some Pirate lore. Silver Springs however, was never a hotbed of Pirate activity – which apparently was true for the restaurant as well.

The host came in, did the reality TV, yelling thing then brought out the demograohics data. They are located in the middle of several corporate high rises and not much else, yet they were not open for lunch or Happy Hour. He also suggests she drop the pirate thing for a theme that will be more attractive to a corporate crowd. The owner and her husband had not drawn a salary for five years. They and their teenage daughter were living in her parents basement. They were 900,000 dollars in debt.

The show changed the name and remodeled it to a corporate bar. It makes oodles of money on the test. This was treated like the worst thing in the world to the owner and her staff. They were WAY more concerned with playing Pirate than running a business.

The host even asked her: do you want to dress like a Pirate or send your daughter to college? The week after the show ended, they changed it back to a pirate bar. Apparently, they wanted to dress like Pirates.

This is just one example of the story taking over the reality of the business. It can be a HUGE danger when your business is your passion and not just a way to make money. I have seen it many times. The dream overshadows the reality. In business, you don’t have to sell out, but you do have to make money.

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Hanshishiro

Unfortunatelly for many people the dream is superimposed on the reality, until the moment when reality eats them whole.

Strangely the two groups that suffer more from it are politics and people on our line of work. The capacity of both groups to affect reality becomes a disavantage, when intead of seeing things as they are, people see them as they want them to be.

Kevin

I have very frequently been in Silver Spring, on the same block that the Pirate’s Tavern resides. I’ve been to the tavern at least a couple of times; once before and once after the Bar Rescue fiasco. Some friends of mine have been there more often.

Ultimately, I think that their lack of financial success stems from three things completely unrelated to the pirate theme:

1.) Their service is slow. Frustratingly, glacially slow. This has apparently been the case for years.

2.) The food is just not very good. At all. I am being generous.

3.) The place is very very small, with a layout that’s got a long hallway feel. It’s not a welcoming place to enter.

Having spent a lot of time in that area, though, I tend to think that the Corporate Bar was going to be a bigger bust. That area isn’t itching for a sleek, overly-polished corporate watering hole. In fact, most of the successful businesses nearby are:

1.) Ethnic restaurants (Ethiopian, Burmese, Indian, Thai, Italian, etc.)

2.) Organic/sustainable and/or higher-end restaurants (Ray’s the Classics, Jackie’s, 8407, Fire Station 1, etc.)

3.) Hipster-ish hangouts like the Quarry House Tavern (across the street f/ Piratz)

4.) The usual check cashing & hair/nail boutiques expected of a lower-income neighborhood in transition

5.) A few entertainment venues, like the AFI Theater and The Fillmore

It’s not a neighborhood where corporate people meet & greet. In short, it’s not Bethesda, Clarendon, Pentagon City, or the District (the sort of places for work happy hours, in other words.)

While everyone was talking about the transformation of Piratz when it was underway (and I am sure any opportunity to attend the place in its new, temporary incarnation reflected that), I do not think that would have been a sustainable model in that neighborhood. Honestly, when I saw the Corporate Bar sign, I thought it was a joke during renovation. A “Look what we won’t ever be…tee hee!” sort of thing.

But, even putting that aside, speaking as someone who’s lived in the metro area for quite a while, if anything, we need more bars with character and unique themes, and far fewer soulless, homogenized marble-bartop lounges where flocks of tired, Men’s Wearhouse-clad government contractors and IT workers banter ceaselessly about the tedious intricacies of their dreadful jobs. More “Avast!”, fewer action items and project plans. I say this as a well-paid PM in IT…the culture is just awful.

It’s just too bad Piratz hasn’t executed better on their novel idea.

Kevin

Also, worth mentioning: The vast majority of the high-rises and such there are *not* the sort of places crammed with suits looking to spend. They are mostly filled with administrators and people at the lower end of the office cubicle salary spectrum. The Discovery Channel building is a notable exception, but that’s one building.

Plus, most of the other bars are not open for lunch. Quarry House, which is vastly successful, and directly across the street, opens at 5pm. There are a plethora of carry out, fast food, and deli-type places to feed the office workers, most of whom would not have the money for mezza or anything fancier…and I doubt Piratz-as-Corporate could have done cheaper than the existing options (and wouldn’t cheap have gone against the theme?)

Elle

From what I’ve read thus far it seems like they would have been better off just calling themselves “The Pirate Bar”, choosing the font for the sign wisely as to not make it look like a dive/biker bar which… you could relate to the “pirate” theme.

“PIRATZ”?! Ugh!

And turn it into a sort of “hip spot” where they DON’T dress like pirates, but have pirate memorabilia on the walls for decor. They would have to then upgrade their menu. A bit.

They could compete with the “hipster hangout” right across the street. When that place is too full, people would migrate over there. Or something.

But that show, like all reality shows, are all about sensationalism and what people want to see or what have you. Major transformation! Radical ideas!

And also those people running the place are probably just way too delusional and Lunar influenced to get out of their dream world. Sigh.

Kevin

Well, I feel like the project wasn’t scoped out properly. They don’t want to just be successful as restauranteurs or bar owners, they want to make money with their pirate bar idea.

The dressing like pirates is neither here nor there; people who attend are under no expectation to dress as pirates, and that would be the real issue for most.

In an increasingly grey and mercantile DC landscape, I respect people who want to keep their dream going beyond all rational limits. In fact, I often say that if you want something enough, you have to be willing to do it even (and especially when) it seems like a Really Bad Idea™.

I just wish they’d address their food and service issues, and I think that would solve the lion’s share of their problems.

Rather than have a larger menu where everything’s done poorly, cut it down to four or five items that aren’t überperishable, and that they can really nail in the execution (both in time-to-table and taste). Over months or years, they can become famous for one or two of them, in the same way places become known for their fries or wings. They become the thing just about everyone who goes there orders if they are the least bit hungry.

Then, either hire new waitstaff or retrain them to be more attentive and less “Renn Faire Dandy”. To be fair, the female staff members there have seemed far better.

Lastly, implement a server paging system, like many Korean restaurants in the area have. You need a beer or more whatever? Push the button, and someone by the server area/kitchen entrance sees a light come on telling them which table needs a thing. This stops them from having to pace back & forth the long, hallway-like venue.

But, they will probably not do these things (or anything else for that matter), and eventually they will go under.

B.Friendly

There’s a pirate bar in the west village in NYC that seems to do just fine. I suspect that whatever “pirate” elements they’ve got going on are tempered by halfway competent service and cheap beer.

If I were running a bar, I’d do as Inox suggests and focus on 3-4 menu items reasonable drink prices/staff performance.

Then I’d hire really hot serving wenches. Aarrr.

Inominandum

To be clear. It is not whether or not they are a Pirate Bar, Ninja Bar, or Zombie Bar! The point is that they were failing spectacularly and when someone tried to help, they decided they would rather fail spectacularly as pirates than live as a lunch place.

Make Sure It Will Sell

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