Scared Sh*tless and Safety Helmets

Back in 1998, my roommate had moved out a few months before our lease was up, leaving me with a completely empty room in the apartment. This was the first time that I had a completely dedicated room for magic, so of course, I laid out a circle on the floor, set up a triangle, and got conjuring the demons of the Ars Goetia properly by the book.

I was not going to even try to do all 72, but made a list of ones that I had not yet worked with, but was interested in establishing relations with. The first few conjurations went well. Spirits appeared, spoke, and provided real world results to verify the communication. I was high on magic, feeling like a mack-daddy wizard, just callin and conjuring night after night.

Until I conjured Asmodeus.

After some arduous conjuring, repeating the stronger more constraining conjurations several times, Asmodeus made himself known. I haven’t been in the presence of people that wanted nothing but ill for me since a confrontation with a middle-school bully, but here I was again. The being in the triangle did not like being conjured. The being in the triangle did not like me. The being in the triangle was not fucking impressed by the floor circle, or the robe, or the words. The being in the triangle did not seem very human-friendly AT ALL. In fact, now that I had its attention it seemed pretty damn insidious.

I was scared.

I immediately thanked Asmodeus for appearing then issues the licence to depart. Three times just to be sure. I closed the room and didn’t go back in for days. I avoided calling upon Asmodeus for the next two decades. I use this story an example in my classes on how not every spirit is good. Yes, some demons are benevolent spirits vilified by Church and Patriarchy – but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t just evil-ass spirits as well. As always, spirits are a lot like people. Some great, some good, some shitty, some evil. To this day I am convinced that if I simply continued with that operation, I would have been fucked-over but good!

SO WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS?

My last post about Witches afraid of Witchcraft highlighted five fears that people seem to be succumbing to without reason. Being afraid of a thing thing that is actually dangerous or violent was not one of those five. The post didn’t suggest that you should just traipse carelessly through the world of magic, and did not suggest that safety precautions were not needed. In fact it said the opposite.

But this is the internet in 2020, and many people cannot hold the idea of “don’t be unreasonably afraid” and “do take reasonable precautions” in their minds at the same time. Some people, I suspect only saw the headline and started composing their reply. Ah well.

But not you. You get it right?

When you get into your car you understand that you can have an accident. You understand that there are things you can do (don’t text and drive) to prevent an accident, and other things you can do to mitigate harm (wear a seatbelt) if you do get into one. You also understand that it is possible that through no fault of your own you still might get into an accident and die. But your drive anyway. You have a healthy sense of care about it, but not debilitated by fear…

That’s what I want for you.

You also understand that if you were to take up driving in demolition derbies that you need extra precautions (helmet, roll-cage, welded doors) that you don’t need to take your Prius to the grocery store.

It’s the same with magic.

I wrote a book about Protection and Reversal Magic specifically to provide people with the safety that they would need to navigate whatever level of engagement in magic they like. Methods range from simple to extreme, just like the potential dangers.

SO WHAT ABOUT ASMODEUS….

I now have a better relationship with Asmodeus. In 2017, Cyprian told me I needed to conjure him using the methods laid out in what is now the Black School program. I said “NOPE”.

In 2018 I got a copy of the Sepher Ha-Maggid by Humberto Maggi, and I gained a better understanding of the nature of Asmodeus, and why he might respond to the methods Cyprian suggested better than the methods I was using in 1998. I incorporated some of Humbertos methods into that working as well.

Late last year.

When I was finally able to overcome the fear of doing it.

I am richer for it.