That Tony Robbins Video
Tony Robbins is a giant, not just in physical stature but in impact. As such you can find a lot of people he has helped and a lot of people that are critical of him. In most cases they are both correct. This week a video surfaced of him dismissing the #MeToo movement as a way for people to make themselves significant through their victim-hood. He then complicated matters further by using his stature and aggressive body language to essentially bully the woman that was calling him on his claims. If you don’t think its bullying, watch it with the sound off first and try to imagine the kind of “conversation” going on.
Why am I addressing this here? Because there are two points I keep making to people that are relevant here.
The first is that the individual IS best served by not allowing the intersection of privilege, oppression, and trauma to define them. Robbins was abused as a child and this is his schtick. I had a rough go as a child and its my schtick too. If Robbins had addressed this woman, listened to her story and pain, and said “Ok lets accept that and turn it into fuel for your rise” there would have been no problem. That’s not what he did: instead he attacked a movement.
The second point I have made in the past that is relevant here is not to confuse advice for society with advice for the individual. “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and use whatever opportunities you have” is great advice for a person in front of you, but its terrible advice for getting rid of poverty itself. “Learn some self-defense techniques” is great advice for an individual, but its terrible advice for addressing campus rape itself. #MeToo is a movement. It is not about one women, its about women at large and what is happening to them en mass as half of society. Its not just the person in front of you, its a movement that is changing society and the way we move forward.
Are there people who wallow in victim hood or claim it as some kind of social proof of their significance? Maybe, but that’s not what I see in the women who have come forward. I see it as something that is very much empowering people. Look at Nanine McCool (most appropriate name ever) hold her ground in the face of Robbins trying to intimidate her with his size. That’s power.
For his part Tony Robbins has apologized for his comments and hopefully he will take it to heart and adjust his thinking.
So what is the take away for the Strategic Sorcerer? Don’t confuse advice for the individual with advice for society. Are you part of an oppressed group that has more obstacles to overcome than others? Don’t use that as an excuse not to strive. Take zero blame but 100% responsibility for your situation and get to work. This is I think where Robbins advice was coming from, and I see people use this excuse myself, so I am sure he sees it a TON. But also don’t forget that you are just one person in a larger world. Ending injustice takes more than just you using it for fuel to lift yourself up, changing the world looks different than just changing yourself.
